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5 Things I Learned in 2020 (Part 5/5)

An “imperfect” shot of me taken by my daughter

I heard somewhere recently that perfectionists aren’t people who are perfect, they are people who feel shame for not being perfect.

I call myself a recovering perfectionist.

In 2020, I learned that authenticity and presence are far more important than perfection. Put more simply: I don’t have to be perfect, I just have to BE there and be ME.

This is important in parenting. It’s important in starting your own business. And it’s SO important in building self-confidence.

What I learned is that no one can be me, with my exact combination of experiences and skills. And I can’t be a perfect copy of anyone else. And that is a GOOD thing - the world needs lots of different people, not lots of copies.

One phrase that has been really inspiring to me this past year is this: “Your mess is your message.”

I don’t need to hide from my imperfections, my weaknesses, my wounds. I can USE them - to find my place, to find my people and to find my purpose. In fact, facing them and owning them is the only way I can truly show up authentically in my work and in my life.

  • Owning them is what made it okay for me to walk away from the career field I’ve been in for the past 10 years.

  • Owning them is what made me discover self-compassion and realize that it’s okay for me to want things for myself.

  • Owning them is what helped me to see how creative I really am, after years of perfectionism told me that I wasn’t.

Through acknowledging and owning my imperfections, I have been able to fully embrace and utilize my strengths. But it’s not an easy task - it’s more of a habit, really.

Brene Brown says it best: ““Authenticity is the daily practice of letting go of who we think we are supposed to be and embracing who we actually are.”

I thought I was supposed to be perfect. But FUCK that. All I need to be is me.

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