Half & Half

At 36, I have now spent exactly half of my life as an adult, and half as a child.

It’s strange how much slower time seemed to move when I was younger. The time from my birth to age 18 (of which I can only remember maybe 15 years), seemed like a lifetime. Whereas the time from graduating high school until now has seemed to have flown by.

I read recently that NSYNC’s album “No Strings Attached” came out 21 years ago.

WHAT?!

I was 15 when that album came out. As a comparison, when I was 15, it would have been the same as referring to AC/DC’s “Highway to Hell” album (which came out in 1979).

(It is uncomfortable to me that I had to Google that, as I have absolutely no awareness about music from the 70s. That must be how today’s 15-year-olds feel about music from the 90s.) 😬

My point is, from here on out, more of my life will have been spent as an adult than as a child. And I am REALLY okay with that!

While my childhood was formative in terms of who I am, it is my adult years that have most influenced who I am becoming.

As a child, I followed the rules and was praised for being “good.”

As an adult, I’ve learned to question the rules, and only follow the ones that align with what I believe (and that “good” is overrated and dangerous).

As a child, I preferred having instructions to follow in order to learn the “right” way.

As an adult, I have experienced the freedom that comes from following your own path and learning as you go (except in cooking: if I don’t have a recipe, I’m not doing it!).

As a child, my straight As and inclusion in the “Academically Talented” program provided a clear roadmap of how to be successful.

As an adult, the gradual progression of my career from strict corporate, to chaotic startup to wide open entrepreneurship has lifted a new lens to what work can be and what it means to “succeed.”

A few weeks ago, we were playing “Would You Rather” during dinner and my daughter asked, “Mama, would you rather be a kid or an adult?” I told her that was a really tough question for me to answer, as there are good things (and not-so-good things) about both.

I’m still not sure I could answer her question. But now, considering the lessons I have learned, I am glad that what still lies ahead of me is the open-mindedness of my adulthood, not the limiting beliefs of my childhood.

As I now watch my daughter grow up, I can’t wait to see her discover who she is and who she wants to become. I hope to be able to share some of the lessons I have learned with her, but my ultimate goal is to be a supportive presence as she figures some of these things out for herself and makes her own way to adulthood.